Love is decision, not by feeling!!

I just attended a Pre-Marriage course with my soon to be Wife, Winne, and one things we learn from the course, is Love is always base on decision, not by feeling, this has come to surprise to many of us, for me, how could One in love with someout without feeling in the first place? Right.

But at the end, I learned that if Love purely base on Feeling, that one can easily fall in, and one could easily fall out, as we human being can't control our feeling, but we can decide to continue to love in regardless of what feeling we have..

I posted my view on this on facebook, this is feedback on my friends on this same topic, some is very interesting.

Khoo Chen Shiang is Learn that Love is always base on decision, and not by feeling. In any situation, we always has to decide base on our desire or base on love

May 11 at 6:34pm · via mConnected · Comment · LikeUnlike · Show Feedback (12)Hide Feedback (12)

You like this.

Richa Dwivedi at 7:51pm May 11

I don't get it. Does it mean you're in love because you've "decided" to be in love rather than you "feel" in love?? Doesn't make sense! I'm confused...

Khoo Chen Shiang at 10:51pm May 11

If love purely base on feeling, that it's easy to "fall in" and so does it will easy "fall out". For example, if my partner late of our date, I can be angry and decide to raise my voice to ask why she's late, or I can decide to love, and ask with concern voice, is she ok, and etc.

I could decide to always spend my weekend with friend for few round of Golf, or I could decide to take 1-2 weekend off with my wife just do nothing or cook dishes together..

A lot of marriage couple are "seen" from outside eye they are marry, but in fact they are marriage individual, again a decision they made..

Annie Tan at 10:59pm May 11

fren, don't look at other ppl, just be happy with what you are doing and live with it. God is there for you, He never take an off day! :-)

Wong Yeow Soon at 11:03pm May 11

Hey man, its oo complicated. Love is feeling, understanding, caring, dedicating. Over the years, you will find out, whether you love or beloved,it's a burden. Moreover, whatever decision you make for your future, married or single, you'll be regretted for the rest of your life.

Luckchai Lerchaichanakul at 12:04am May 12

I'm sure James has lots (if not too many) of feeling on this luv based on the story developed steps by steps from James' blogs over the whole period. But after all the loving feeling, one has to decide whether to commit to this love or else... It's the life long commitment that need more than just feeling which can change over time...

Jamie Lim at 12:05am May 12

Emmm... Then am gotta repeat my principle @ L.O.V.E again... 1st r'ship = she luv u more than u lov her but cudn't work out... 2nd r'ship = u luv her more than she luv u but still cudn't work out... 3rd r'ship usually it's the time to get marry = both luvES are 50% 50% but it's juz the timing is rite >>> P/S: Emmm... That's the love on decision lol i guess :P

Wong Yeow Soon at 9:21am May 12

Jamie, i heard this before, but i think this is some kind of nonsence to me. When it's come to love or true love, there is no percentage to each other, somehow or rather, you die for it.

Khoo Chen Shiang at 9:28am May 12

Answer to Jamie, nope, I Love my wife Winnie very much, and Love can't be quantifiable, thus it's pointless to compare u current love with previous lovers. Live the moment, and treasure you love now.

Luckchai get my message 100% correctly!

After marriage, when everyone back to realities, we people easily takes things for granted, and sooner or later, we start blaming our partner that he/she is not as romantic as before, and surprisingly we will hear the same from our partner, haha but all this can change if we wants to change, again decision,decision, and decisions....

We could decide to give a a simple morning kiss to our love one, before we go to work, a Call to ask how his/her day in the office, a surprise visit to his/her office for lunch, or just simple lying down at Sofa, under a blanket, and watch a good movie together..and soon we will get back the romantic feeling we used to have..

Joe Heath at 9:47am May 12

Sounds like you could have a career writing that gobbledygook you find in the horoscope section of the newspaper... ;o)

James Khoo, Agony Aunt & Feng Shui Toilet Master

*joke* :op

Khoo Chen Shiang at 9:58am May 12

haha, thanks for teaching me new English word today, "Gobbledygook"..

Joe Heath at 10:19am May 12

It's a great word. I challenge you to use it in conversation at least 10 times today

Annie Tan at 2:37pm May 12

Fully agreeable with u James!